no hands, ma!

It's like learning to ride a bike with no hands!  Learning again to eat-enough-not-too-much-not-too-little.  I had a GREAT day today doing just that.
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Breakfast: curried lentils (this is a big deal because I have weird issues with confusing eating breakfast with ruining my day)
Lunch: almonds
Supper: almonds
Before Bed: (I plan to have, as it is not yet late enough and I'm not hungry yet) 1/4 freebirds burrito.  I fell in love with these when my sister treated me on my birthday.
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I went to a candlelight service last night for the women's ACTS retreat of our diocese.  It was wonderful.  A much-needed breath of fresh air.  So much unbelievable love.  The place was filled with the Holy Spirit.  It was overwhelming in the best way.  Afterward I resolved to start going to mass again with more regularity.  I've been feeling so guilty over my binges/purges and confused about the legitimacy of my fasting and also afraid of accidentally purging the Eucharist, that I just avoided church altogether.  But now that I'm eating well (although I should not be waiting for that as a condition), I realize my need for more of Him.  And I found out (or re-remembered, rather) that there's a daily mass at 5PM at my parish (so no need to wake up ridiculously early), AND it's said, if I remember correctly, by my favorite priest.  He's so wise and his sermons always wake me up and get me thinking and out of my comfort zone.  Oh, I hope I'm right that it's him saying the mass.  I mean, mass is mass, but a good homily can sometimes help a stuck person!
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Lastly, I heard a song today with lyrics that really stuck with me; it's from an old hymn:

O what peace we often forfeit,

O what needless pain we bear,
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer.

Man, I don't know about you, but that sure rings true to me.  Forfeited peace?  Needless pain? Ouch.

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